"Take an Indian to Lunch"

Stan Freberg -- animation voice actor, satirist, and advertising creative director -- died earlier this year.

Here's a transcript of the track we heard in class (written by Stan Freberg):

Narrator: November, 1621 -- By now the white man has arrived in great numbers, not only at Miami, but at Jamestown, at Plymouth, and at Salem, Massachusetts. The Puritans have established a thriving colony, enjoying all the social and cultural refinements of a modern society.

Salem man: Hiya, Harve, who’re you taking to the witch-burning Saturday night?
Harve: Prudence Adams. Who are you taking to the Rotary Club luncheon?
Salem man: I haven’t got a date yet, but I hear it’s gonna be quite a spread.
Political Advisor: Well, Mayor Pennypacker, how’s it look for re-election?
Mayor: Great, great, great; never looked better.
Political Advisor: Yeah, what about the Indian vote?
Mayor: Waddya mean by that?
Political Advisor: Well, you’re not too popular with the Indians. They could lose you the election.
Mayor: That’s possible?
Political Advisor: Well, they outnumber us.
Mayor: That’s the trouble-you give ’em an inch, and they take over.
Political Advisor: But Mayor, they were here before we were -- we moved in on them.
Mayor: So we did. Well, there’s just something about ’em. They wear funny shoes, don’t even have buckles on ’em.
Political Advisor: Be that as it may, election is Friday. You better make some gesture this week.
Mayor: Like what?
Political Advisor: Well, what if you make a concession and pick an Indian as a running mate? You’d be sure to carry the Indian bloc.
Mayor: What? If anything happened to me, you’d have a mayor that wasn’t a Puritan. Probably take orders directly from Chief Powhatan.
Political Advisor: Yeah.
Mayor: Say, I got it. The luncheon tomorrow, the one under the trees?
Political Advisor: What about it?
Mayor: We’ll ask an Indian! That’ll impress the rest of ’em.
Political Advisor: We could even announce you’re gonna put one in your cabinet.
Mayor: No need to go that far, just have one to lunch.
Political Advisor: It’ll be great press!
Mayor: “Mayor Pennypacker Comes Out for Equality... Justice... Votes!” What a slogan:

[Song “Take an Indian to Lunch”]

Take an Indian to lunch (this week)
Show him we’re a regular bunch (this week)
Show him we’re as liberal as can be!
Let him know he’s almost as good as we
Make a feathered friend feel fed (this week)
Overlook the fact he’s red (this week)
Let him share our Quaker Oats
’Cause he’s useful when he votes
Take an Indian to lunch!
Two Four Six Eight
Who do we tolerate?
Indians, Indians, rah, rah, rah!

Take an Indian to lunch (this week)
Let him sit right down and munch (this week)
Let’s give in and all do the brotherhood bit--
Just make sure we don't make a habit of it!

Take an Indian to dine (this week)
Show him we don’t draw the line (this week)
We know everyone can’t be
As “American” as we--
(After all, we came over on the Mayflower!)
Take an Indian,
Not a wooden Indian*,
But a real, live Indian
To lunch!

* Wooden Indian


"Cigarindian1" by WyrdLight.com. Licensed under CC BY-SA 2.5 via Commons.